The Psychic Is In
by CaptTARDIS
Summary: Carlton Lassiter has a problem. But it may not be what you think . So addicted to Slashy Shassie. Rated for safety, and because I'm dumb and don't know what might qualify. Only a bit of angst. Lots of fluff in second chapter.
1. Fangirls and Suspicions

~ EDIT: Muahahaha... I'm a big fat liar. Writing a fic, but not for Alice, or for Chuck, no, it's White Collar. ~

To make up for my first fanfiction, a fluffy mini-shot (Psych-Out!), I'll try to write an angsty, hotter bit for y'all. Again the basics:

I don't own Psych.

There is slash. Don't read if you hate; if you hate and read, it's your own demn fault, so don't flame me, thanks. If you don't know what slash is, google it.

* * *

**The Psychic Is In**

_Brrrriiiiiinnnnnng_, the phone's insisting scream pierced Shawn's ears. He groaned, mumbling something about pineapple buns, and checked the clock.

_Brrrriiiiiinnnnnng_, the phone yelled again. 5:30 am. Shawn groaned again and rubbed his eyes. Who would call at this ungodly hour? The phone shrieked once more and he muttered, "Yeah, yeah," as he got out of bed and pulled on a pair of pants.

"Hello?" he asked, voice slurred, "Shawn Spencer, Psychic Detective, in need of sleep, how may I serve you today?"

"Spencer, I… I need your help."

"Lassie darling!" Shawn cried, his face brightening immediately at the voice, "Feeling lonely? What can I do ya for? Five bucks? Eight? Okay, ten, but I'm not going any higher."

"Shawn, I'm serious."

Shawn fell silent at the first mention of his first name, waiting for the detective to continue.

"I…" Lassiter's voice took an uncomfortable tone and he cleared his throat, "I want to talk… just… talk."

"Sure, Lass," Shawn replied, "Where do you want to meet?"

"Er, is there somewhere quiet near your place?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a park about five miles away. Want to meet there?"

There was silence for a bit.

"I can't hear you nodding, Lassie-dear."

"Oh, uh, yes."

"Great. Here are the directions-"

Half an hour later, Shawn walked into the park casually late to see Lassiter standing there awkwardly, blue eyes scrunched up in an emotion like a mix of agony and worry. They relaxed slightly as they spotted Shawn strolling over.

"So," Shawn said, approaching him, "what did you want to talk about? And why me? Wouldn't Jules or one of your friends be better?"

"I don't have friends."

"Oh stop being mopey, Lassie," Shawn reprimanded the older man, "You're supposed to take this stuff with anger! Sad just isn't your style."

"It's true, though. I don't. Your obsession with annoying me is about as close as I have to a friend."

"Jules would listen, though, whether you think she's your friend or not."

Carlton Lassiter just shook his head.

"I can't talk to her about this…"

The two men were silent for a bit, and even the early morning crickets stopped their chirping.

"Well, what is it?"

"I have a problem."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "I figured that out, Lassie. Now tell the psychic what your problem is. Do I need to charge you five cents, or would that make it awkward?"

Lassiter clenched his jaw, restraining any Shawn-bashing that might have popped out of it.

"I think I have a stalker."

Shawn paused for a moment, his reaction delayed. Then he nearly doubled up in laughter.

"That's it? Just a stalker? I thought you were dying or something!"

"It's serious," Carlton mumbled, fidgeting.

"So what do you need me to do?"

"Do your psychic thing or whatever and tell me if it's who I think it is."

"It doesn't work like that, Lassie," Shawn said, sounding more and more condescending, "The spirits have to decide when to give me their knowledge!"

"I knew it!" Lassiter said, "You're useless. I never should have come to you about this."

"Why couldn't you go to Jules with this, anyway?"

"Be-because I can't."

"Right."

Shawn scanned Lassiter for any clues. What could he trust Shawn, of all people, with that he couldn't tell Buzz or Juliet? Old colleague perhaps? No, Lassiter wouldn't mind talking to Juliet about that, even if she had loved the colleague. Juliet was a very open minded person. Maybe his ex-wife? That made very little sense, even if it fit all the criteria. His ex-wife would not be stalking him, especially since she was the one who ended the divorce.

Lassiter shifted his grip on a folder in his hand that Shawn had managed to miss until now. A name jumped out at him: "Juliet O'Hara."

Juliet? Why would Juliet be stalking him? Jules liked Lassiter, but only as a partner. Shawn had always noticed that her gaze shifted to Shawn when it was a choice between him and Lassie, even if there was a minor contest between the two. Unless…

Shawn gasped and clutched at his chest tightly, swaying as he cried out, "Oh! I'm getting a vision now! A brightly encrusted tiara on a golden head! Juh-Juuuuuuuuvenile! No, Jar of Hooligans! J-"

"Juliet O'Hara?" Lassiter sighed, "You really are the best."

"So what do you want me to do about it?" Shawn asked.

"Not sure…" Carlton Lassiter started to say, but Shawn cut him off.

"If you really think it's her, then I know how to bring her out."

It was a crazy idea, to be sure, but if he was right, it would work perfectly. Lassiter stared at him, unsure what to make of his maniacal grin.

"Lassie," Shawn aimed a stare at him, "do you trust me?"

Lassiter warily nodded.

"Great. Drive me to your house, then!"

Lassiter did so, and Shawn asked him questions along the short drive. How long had it been going on? What led him to suspect Juliet? And "Do you think she's stalking you right now?"

"Can't be sure," Lassiter said, looking out his rearview mirror, but then he looked back in front again as they neared the house. Shawn caught it, too, a small flash of blonde hair behind a bush. They nodded at each other, and Shawn got out of the car as it pulled to a stop.

He rounded the car to Lassiter's door, pulled it open, and gave him the instructions, "Grab onto my arm and TRY to manage a smile."

Lassiter climbed out of the car and gradually the creepy mass murderer smile turned into a fairly decent smile. They walked slowly up the path to Lassiter's house, with Shawn occasionally giggling. When they reached the doorway, his ears caught a faint rustle. Time for The Plan to be put into action.

"Lassie," Shawn said as loudly as he could without it being suspicious, and quickly whispered, "You aren't going to like this one bit, but trust me and go with it," He repeated Lassie's name again louder, "I had a **wonderful** time tonight. Kiss me, you fool!"

Carlton's eye's barely had enough time to widen as Shawn came at him with a forceful and sloppy kiss. Shawn's hands ran though his short hair and clutched at it, searching for a handle. One hand trailed down his back to squeeze his butt and pull him closer.

Lassiter was about to push him away, when he remembered Shawn's advice. He slowly slipped his hands underneath the boy psychic's shirt and shoved him against the doorway. Without thinking, he toyed at his lips until they opened. He slipped his tongue inside, exploring it and enjoying the feeling of finally getting to-. _Enjoying?_

Before he had time to think about it, a squeak emitted from the bushes as Juliet fell out.

"I… er… I… I'm glad you two are…" Juliet said, flustered. She gave up trying to speak and simply fled, presumably in the direction of her car.

"That was-" Lassiter paused, at a loss for words.

"I knew it," Shawn said, "All girls are fangirls, deep down."

Lassiter turned to him.

"Are you admitting to deductive reasoning, psychic?"

"No," Shawn said, grinning, "but I will admit that you are one hell of a kisser!"

Lassiter was about to consider shooting the kid, but stopped.

"Since we're alone now," he started.

"I get it, I'll go home now. You owe me one though, Carlton."

"I owe you nothing. Stop cutting me off," he replied, irked, "As I was saying, since we're alone now, care to continue?"

Shawn grinned.

"I hoped you'd say that. Kiss me, you fool!"

Carlton leaned in, obliging. He didn't really know what he hated so much about Shawn. He'd gotten annoyed at what he took to be relentless teasing, but it was honestly just playful flirting. And anything else that might have come up was all forgiven when he kissed like THAT. He groaned into the kiss, deepening it as far as he could.

"Shawn…" he murmured, breaking for air.

Shawn stared at him, dazed and flushed.

"Carlton, can we go inside?"

Carlton paused, and then shook his head.

"No, we're going to do this slowly. I'll take you home."

He leaned in for a last kiss. A gentle one, with closed lips.

"Care for dinner tomorrow?"

* * *

A/N: Arg! Still turned out fluffy. Eh… So what did you think? Throw the dog a cookie and R&R? :D


	2. Fangirls and Dates

At last the long promised second piece! Sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoy.

One warning first: I write this sleep deprived and barely able to think. It borders on crack, and I think I had a little too much fun with Juliet's stalkeriness from the previous chapter. If you don't like, think of it as an almost blooper reel, meant to be humorous but not quite real. (haha, reel, real…)

* * *

This time Shawn was waiting for him. Seven thirty PM, Carlton Lassiter had promised. Shawn checked his watch eagerly once again; it read just five minutes before. He had been ready hours before. Hell, he'd gotten up at six AM for once so he had plenty of time to check his hair and clothing. Shawn had then spent the ten remaining hours watching reruns of Gilmore Girls and Supernatural. (Quoting some of them, too.)

Finally the long awaited Lassie-car sound wafted through the windows and Shawn was out the door in a flash. He settled into the passenger seat before Lassie could even get unbuckled.

"Where are we going? Is it Chinese food? I hope it's Chinese food; don't take me someplace Indian. Curry upsets my stomach… not a pretty sight. Or I guess that would be 'not a pretty smell,' wouldn't it?"

Lassiter took a deep breath and sighed, wondering once again why he'd invited the stupid fake psychic in the-

"It's nice to see you again, Lassie-darling," Shawn said more seriously, turning to the silent detective and cutting off his thought process.

Lassiter gave him a half smile, which in Lassie versus Shawn terms basically meant "you too."

Before Shawn could cut in and ruin it again, he mentioned what he had in mind as he pulled out of the driveway.

"There's a small French café right down the same street as the Jumbo Mumbo Pineapple Slushie Gallery. Maybe afterwards, I'll get you a slushie."

Shawn perked up like a puppy dog offered the biggest bone.

"If you're good," Lassie added quickly.

They chatted aimlessly for a while until he pulled into the small parking lot for what seemed to be a smaller café. All of the tables inside were for two people. Lassiter led Shawn in by the hand and they sat down at one of the empty ones by the window.

They each scanned the menu and, after a warning glance not to be silly from Lassiter, gave their orders to the petite blonde waitress who looked between the pair with a glint in her eye. When she turned her back, Shawn shot an I-told-you-so smirk in Lassie's direction.

When she set down their orders and left, Shawn insisted on feeding Lassie from his own fork. Lassie gave in to his pleading and did the same thing back, feeling slightly more relaxed. He stiffened again, though, when Shawn got some of the sauce to the side of his mouth and leaned in, eyes intent. He stopped just a couple of inches from Lassie's face, smiled, and wiped it off with a napkin.

Lassie growled at Shawn.

"Why the tease, Spencer?"

Shawn made a hinting sideways glance at the window and Lassie looked out carefully. Juliet was standing excitedly on the other side of the road, clasping her hands. Behind her was the entire SBPD force looking both curious and highly awkward. She turned back to the crowd, said something, and started trotting towards the café.

"Well," said Lassiter, "This is a predicament."

"So," gasped a breathless Juliet, bursting through the door, "You guys… Is it official, or what?"

Lassiter caught Shawn's eyes, searching for an answer, rolled his own and stared at Jules.

"Yes. It's official."

Shawn smiled slightly for only Lassiter to see. Juliet gave two thumbs up through the window and left with hurried apologies for disturbing the date. Shawn and Lassiter stared at each other at a loss for words for a while.

"Slushie?" Shawn suggested at last.

Lassie smirked and nodded. They strolled the few feet to the slushie shop where Lassiter bought him an extra large double flavored. As they walked out, he leaned over and gave Shawn a slow, gentle kiss. He pulled back reluctantly after a few seconds.

"I had fun today."

"Me too."

* * *

You know, I think this is my favorite pair to write. They're polar opposites almost, but they have such chemistry once you stick them in a situation where they have to be even remotely close; it's like a rollercoaster ride in candy land.

And I really do love Juliet, I swear. I don't know why I keep writing her as a ditzy fangirl bordering on stupid. Reviews anyway? =)


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